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Fibbing Friday – 04.09.2026

Apparently this week we’re learning Cockney rhyming slang.

This should go well. 👀😂

1. Battlecruiser
   A mobility scooter driven by a pensioner who has absolutely no intention of slowing down for anybody.
2. Bread and Cheese
   The emergency meal served when nobody can be bothered to cook and everyone has agreed that opening the fridge counts as effort.
3. Cows and Kisses
   What happens when you attempt to take a romantic selfie in a field and discover the cows would also like to participate.
4. Dicky Dirt
   The mysterious patch of soil on the floor that appears five minutes after you’ve finished cleaning.
5. Lady Godiva
   A woman who orders chocolates online and hides them before the rest of the family discovers they exist.
6. Mork and Mindy
   The two neighbours who know absolutely everything happening in the street despite apparently never leaving their house.
7. Daisy Roots
   The underground communication network flowers use to gossip about gardeners.
8. Dustbin Lid
   A percussion instrument traditionally played at 6 a.m. by someone who apparently hates the entire neighbourhood.
9. Peckham Rye
   A particularly aggressive loaf of bread that attacks anyone attempting to make a sandwich.
10. Ruby Murray
    A glamorous elderly lady who turns up to bingo wearing enough jewellery to interfere with local satellite reception.

And that concludes today’s completely accurate lesson in Cockney rhyming slang.

Any actual Cockneys reading this should probably look away now. 🤣

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With love, coffee, poetry, and stardust,

— Maggie The Afterlove Voice 💫

https://ditto.fm/silenced-but-not-broken

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If you want a reading, send me an email:

Afterlove-Voice@hotmail.com

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