Dailyprompt-2879
If your pet could talk, what would be the first thing it says?
Which pet?
WordPress, you really need to be more specific.
I live with Bella, five cats and Oscar the tortoise.
There is no possibility of getting one sensible answer from this household.
So I decided to interview them.
🎤 Me: Bella, if you could talk, what would be the first thing you’d say?
Bella:
“Let’s establish something immediately.
Those aren’t your shoes.
They’re mine.
If you leave them on the floor, that’s legally considered a donation.”
🎤 Me: But you’ve destroyed quite a few of them.
Bella:
“I prefer the term redesigned.”
Fair enough.
Next!
🎤 Me: Galileo, anything you’d like to say?
🐈 Galileo:
“Yes.
You’re welcome.”
🎤 Me: For what?
Galileo:
“The mice.”
🎤 Me: You put a dead mouse on my CHAIR!
Galileo:
“And yet you never thanked me.”
Moving swiftly along…
🎤 Me: What about the rest of you cats?
🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈⬛
“We would like more food.”
🎤 Me: You just ate.
🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈⬛
“We don’t understand the relevance of that statement.”
Of course not.
And finally…
Oscar.
🐢
I’m almost afraid to ask.
🎤 Me: Oscar, what would be the first thing you’d say if you could talk?
Oscar:
“Where are the black socks?”
Oh dear Lord.
You see, Oscar is a somewhat…
sexually frustrated tortoise.
Apparently, anything black is irresistible.
Black sock?
Romance.
Black shoe?
Soulmate.
Put one anywhere within Oscar’s line of sight and suddenly we’re witnessing a love story nobody asked to see.
🎤 Me: Oscar, that’s a sock.
Oscar:
“Love sees no boundaries.”
🎤 Me: It’s literally footwear.
Oscar:
“Don’t judge us.”
Bella:
“WAIT! THAT’S MY SHOE!”
Oscar:
“Not anymore, darling.”
Bella: 👀
🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈⬛:
“We’re going to need snacks for this.”
And this is approximately where I would end the interview.
So what would my pets say if they could talk?
I’m beginning to think it’s probably safer that they can’t.
Between the shoe thief, the mouse delivery service, five permanently starving cats and a tortoise conducting an illicit love affair with the contents of the laundry basket…
Djezes, what a crazy house. 😂
But it’s my crazy house.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way. 💜
https://ditto.fm/silenced-but-not-broken
My new song “Silenced but not broken” Lyric video.
With love, coffee, poetry, and stardust,
— Maggie The Afterlove Voice 💫
If you want a reading, send me an email:
Leave a comment